


Tony Stark and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Pizza

by honestmischief



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, Happy Ending, Humor, Light Angst, M/M, Pineapples, Pizza, Pranks and Practical Jokes, loki is a little shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-17
Updated: 2020-06-17
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:35:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24773239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/honestmischief/pseuds/honestmischief
Summary: Tony was hungry, cranky, and craving pizza, but he couldn’t have any because Loki thought that magically making pineapple appear on any slice he tried to eat was a fun prank.
Relationships: Loki/Tony Stark
Comments: 8
Kudos: 76





	Tony Stark and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Pizza

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Rabentochter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rabentochter/gifts).



> To my kind friend Sesil, who loves pineapples and pizza <3
> 
> OKAY, so this is the second fic that I’ve written about pineapples. I feel like that’s already 2 more than the average author writes, but here I am. 
> 
> (I was lovewhatyoudo, I changed my username, my old fics are under that pseud for now and will be moved here soon)

“Sir, it has been 20 hours since your last meal. I suggest ordering something for dinner,” JARVIS said. 

Tony was in the middle of a work binge and it had been hours since his last break. Whenever he worked in his lab, time always flew by. Things like eating often escaped his mind. 

“Order two pizzas and have them sent to the penthouse. Tell Loki that dinner will be ready soon,” Tony told the AI. 

“As you wish, Sir.” 

Tony wrapped up his project before leaving the lab, excited to see Loki. They had only been apart for half of a day, but it felt like too long. Since Loki had moved into the tower, they barely managed to spend much time apart. They had gotten along really well and it was only a matter of time before Tony started to like him as more than a friend. Thankfully, Loki liked him too. They’d been dating for a couple of months, and Tony had never been happier. 

Loki always kept things interesting. He was the god of mischief, always in the mood to cause chaos. The two of them frequently messed with the other residents of the tower and pranked almost everyone. Tony’s favorite was when they replaced Cap’s shield with a red, white, and blue painted frisbee. Steve glared at them every time they were in the same room for a week, but Tony loved it. Being in a relationship with Loki was thrilling and he hoped that it never came to an end. 

When Tony arrived in his penthouse, Loki was waiting for him at the kitchen table. There were boxes of pizza stacked on top of each other, and the smell of it made Tony’s stomach rumble. Before sitting down, Tony bent down and gave Loki a soft kiss. He was thankful to feel the god’s lips on his own again, even though the last time that they kissed was earlier in the morning. 

Loki opened the first box of pizza and grabbed a regular cheese slice. “Thank the Norns you invited me for dinner. I thought that I was going to have to eat with Clint.” 

Tony let out a low chuckle. “That would have been a disaster.”

“Anything can turn into a disaster if you let it,” Loki said with a wink. 

Only the god of mischief and chaos would say something like that, and Tony fully believed that he was speaking the truth. 

“Yeah, but Clint likes  _ pineapple  _ on his pizza, isn’t that revolting? I told him I don’t allow such an atrocity in my tower but he somehow always sneaks it in,” Tony told him. 

He had banned Clint from ordering pizza using the tower’s wifi and data, but there had been multiple times when Tony caught the archer eating pineapple pizza in the common room, just to piss him off. Tony honestly believed that JARVIS thrived from Tony’s anger at the situation and helped Clint order the disgusting pizza. 

Loki’s eyes widened, and Tony could have sworn he saw them sparkle with interest. 

“Oh no, Lokes, I know that look.”

The trickster god smiled around his bite of pizza, obviously planning something. “Pineapple?” he asked.

“Please stop your mischief thoughts, they’re not welcome here.” 

Loki’s facial expression shifted to a more casual look, but Tony knew that it was just a mask. “I am not sure what you mean.”

Tony was familiar with Loki’s mischief, he absolutely adored it, but it had never been directed towards him before. He was honestly afraid of what Loki was thinking, even though the god would never hurt him. Loki was a determined man and always put as much effort as he could into his pranks, and Tony never wanted to be on the wrong side of it. They usually worked together, but it looked like that was about to change. 

“Stop,” Tony warned. 

“Stop what?” Loki asked innocently. 

As Tony picked up his pizza for another bite, it was surrounded by the familiar green mist of Loki’s magic, and a dozen pieces of cut up pineapple appeared on top of the cheese. Tony dropped the slice as quickly as he could, as if holding it any longer would burn his hands. He noticed that Loki’s slice had pineapple too, and the god ate it without any sign of disgust. 

Loki let out a pleased sound. “It is quite good.” 

“Good?” Tony shouted. “This is a monstrosity!”

“You didn’t even try it,” Loki reminded him before having another bite. “The tangy flavor of the fruit mixes well with the cheese.” 

“I’m sorry your alien taste buds can’t distinguish good food from bad.” 

“I am a god, my taste buds are superior to yours. I am sorry your mortal taste buds make everything taste so dull for you,” Loki retorted. 

“Let’s agree to disagree. Can you make my pizza normal now?” Tony asked. His stomach was still growling. 

“Not until you try it,” Loki said. 

This prank would have been  _ hilarious _ if it had been done to anyone else, but Tony was a native New Yorker, meaning that he took his pizza  _ very seriously.  _ Fruit and pizza did not go together, and he refused to let himself eat anything that disgusting. He grew up going to Manhattan pizzerias to eat $2.00 slices with Jarvis, and their pizza dates were some of Tony’s fondest memories. Simple pizza was always better, and it certainly did not need fruit to make it taste good. 

“No,” Tony said, shaking his head. 

Instead of doing what Loki wanted, he grabbed a new slice of pizza, this time with pepperoni. Before he could take a bite, Loki’s magic replaced the pepperoni with pineapple. 

Loki only smirked at him after Tony gave him a death glare. 

“Babe, please. I’m so hungry,” Tony pleaded. 

“You have two perfectly good slices of pizza,” Loki said with a mischievous grin. 

Tony stood up and walked towards the elevator, not wanting to deal with the pizza that belonged in the garbage anymore. He knew that he was being dramatic, but he was so hungry. He wanted to eat and then cuddle with Loki on the couch while they watched a movie, that didn’t seem like it was going to happen tonight. 

Loki’s eyes followed him the whole time. “Where are you going?”

“Getting some real food!” 

Tony stepped into the elevator without saying a proper goodbye. As the doors shut, the last thing that he saw were Loki’s green eyes watching him disappear. 

He felt bad for leaving on a bad note, but he was so hungry and Loki was being a pest. All Tony wanted was a slice of pizza, preferably with an excellent cheese pull. His mind didn’t seem to want to focus on anything else. 

Tony left the tower and walked down the street until he reached a Burger King. Even though he was craving pizza, he couldn’t stop picturing it with pineapple on top and it made him lose his appetite. The next best option was a cheeseburger, even though Burger King was terrible. It was Happy’s favorite fast food restaurant for some odd reason, so it was what Tony had most often when they picked up food on the way back from a meeting. He enjoyed this cheeseburger because he was incredibly hungry, but not having the company of his boyfriend made him sad. Eating alone had never bothered him before, so the sudden loneliness caught him off guard. 

When he returned to the tower, he went straight to the workshop to resume the project he was working on. He didn’t realize that he forgot to go to sleep, which happened a lot more often than Loki and JARVIS liked. He left his lab around noon to go to the common room, where he found Clint, Natasha, and Steve eating pizza together. 

Tony took a deep breath, hoping to smell the delicious scent of his favorite food. He was met with the smell of pizza, but he also smelled a certain fruit. 

“Get that out of my tower!” Tony yelled, looking directly at Clint. 

The archer was caught red handed as he was about to take a bite from his pineapple slice. “Can’t I eat what I want?”

“My tower, my rules. I’m just looking out for you buddy, I don’t want you to eat poison under my roof,” Tony explained. 

“It’s not poison, Tony. It’s not bad once you try it,” Natasha said. 

“Not you too!” Tony exclaimed. 

He had never expected the Black Widow to like something so controversial, but he also never knew what to expect from her. The redheaded spy was a mystery. It was always the redheads, it was clear why her and Pepper got along so well. 

“I’m not a fan of it, Tony,” Steve said with kind eyes. 

“Thank you, my Capsicle friend,” Tony said with a grin. Of course the Captain didn’t like pineapple on his pizza. He was born and raised in Brooklyn, meaning his opinions on pizza could be trusted. 

Steve opened the box on the table, showing him the regular pie with no pineapple in sight. Tony’s mouth watered immediately, desperate to have the food that he had been deprived of since the night before. His hands trembled with anticipation as he reached for a slice but as soon as he grabbed it, green flashed before his eyes and pineapple appeared. 

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Tony asked under his breath. 

“Oh, that’s amazing,” Clint said, smiling from ear to ear. Tony couldn’t even look at him. 

Not wanting to deal with Clint and Natasha who were most likely supportive of Loki’s prank, Tony ran to the elevator with the pineapple slice in hand to confront his evil boyfriend. He was so hungry and it wasn’t fair that Loki was depriving him of food. When the elevator doors opened, Tony found Loki sitting on the couch with a tablet in hand on his floor.

“What is this?” Tony yelled before throwing the slice of pizza at Loki. 

Tony was really hoping that it would hit him, leaving sauce on his beautiful face, but Loki was a god with insanely fast reflexes, so he was able to catch it right away. 

“Pizza,” Loki said simply, and then took a bite of it. 

“This isn’t pizza!” Tony exclaimed. 

It was ridiculous, Tony was a billionaire living in New York, he should be able to have a regular slice of pizza whenever he wanted. New York had the best pizza in the world and all he could get his hands on was pizza with  _ pineapple  _ on it. Tony felt like he was living in a nightmare. 

“Technically, it is,” Loki smirked.

“Wipe that smirk off of your pretty face and  _ please  _ magic me up some real pizza, I’m starving and you’re depriving me of precious food,” Tony pleaded.

“You’re angry.” Loki stated with a frown, and Tony felt an uncomfortable feeling in his chest at the sight of it. He didn’t like it. 

Tony wasn’t  _ mad,  _ he was just really annoyed and hungry. He trusted Loki, and this prank made him feel like he didn’t have his back. Loki was a being of mischief and Tony knew this when they started dating, but he also thought that Loki cared enough about him to stop when he went too far. 

“I thought you would have noticed that I was upset earlier,” Tony told him. 

Loki sighed and sunk into the couch, and Tony realized that this was the first time they have had a disagreement. He really hoped it didn’t happen again, because being happy with each other was a lot more fun. 

“Sometimes, I am not able to see when it is time to stop my mischief. I never meant for it to come between us.”

Loki’s pride was too strong and Tony definitely understood that. They were somewhat similar in that way, they both were determined and stubborn assholes who did whatever they wanted. Loki’s mischief was a big part of him and Tony respected that, so he knew that taking the prank too far was not intentional. 

“I know, it’s okay,” Tony told him. 

“It’s not, Anthony. I admit there was another motive behind this.”

“What?” Tony asked reflexively

Tony started to feel his heart pounding in his chest as he waited for Loki’s response. He really didn’t think that Loki would have had a reason for the prank besides his normal mischief and his mind started to assume the worst. 

“I’ve noticed that you don’t eat a variety of food and that JARVIS is always reminding you to eat,” Loki began to explain, with his green eyes focused on the ground. “Mortals need certain nutrients to stay healthy, Anthony.”

That definitely wasn’t what Tony expected to hear Loki say. Loki looked up at Tony with wide, glassy eyes, clearly upset, and Tony immediately wanted to change that. He wasn’t angry anymore. 

“Wait, you did all of this just so I’d eat fruit?” Tony asked, unable to suppress a smile. 

“Yes. Pizza and coffee is not a sufficient diet,” Loki said quietly, appearing nervous about what Tony was going to think. 

Tony honestly didn’t expect Loki to notice or care about his irregular diet and meal schedule. He was usually annoyed when JARVIS and others tried to force him to eat, but it felt different coming from Loki. A warm feeling appeared in his chest, and it was the same one that Tony felt every time he saw Loki smile and every time they kissed. Tony couldn’t get enough of it and he knew that he wanted Loki to be in his life for a long time. 

He gently held Loki’s hands and guided him off of the couch so they were standing inches apart. Every time Tony looked into Loki’s green eyes, it felt absolutely thrilling, like he was seeing him for the first time. 

“I love you,” Tony told him, because it was the only logical response that he could think of. 

Loki’s eyes brightened just when Tony thought they couldn’t be any greener. They were beautiful. Actually, everything about Loki was beautiful. 

“You’ve never said that before,” Loki said, his eyes no longer straying away from Tony.

Tony let out a low chuckle. He didn’t even realize that he said it for the first time, he only stated how he was feeling. He was glad that he got it off of his chest so he didn’t have the chance to overthink it. 

“It doesn’t make it untrue.” 

Loki gently squeezed Tony’s hands, reminding him that they were still intertwined. “I love you too,” he said, and then he leaned down and gave Tony a gentle kiss.

A slight taste of sauce and pineapple was left on Tony’s lips when they parted, but he didn’t mind. 

“Will you try the pizza for me?” Loki asked with an innocent grin. 

How was he supposed to say no to that?

“Fine,” he said after dramatically rolling his eyes. 

Loki let go of his hands and held out a slice of pizza with pineapple on it that he must have conjured with his seidr, since the one Tony brought from downstairs was cold and half-eaten by Loki. Tony took it from him, since Loki was one of the few people he allowed to hand him things. After staring at the pizza for far too long, Tony took a deep breath to steady himself, and then took a bite.

“It’s great,” Tony said. 

It wasn’t.

Loki laughed, and his smile was so bright that Tony almost blushed. He wanted to kiss him again, but the taste in his mouth was so bad that he couldn’t get himself to. 

“Thank you for trying,” Loki said, knowing that Tony lied. 

Tony took a second bite from the pizza, even though he didn’t like it. Loki wanted him to eat fruit and Tony would do anything to make him happy.

“Anything for the  _ pine _ apple of my eye,” Tony winked. 

**Author's Note:**

> I know that ham is commonly on pizza with pineapple but I kind of forgot until I was halfway done with this and I didn't feel like changing it and I also don't like ham and didn't want to acknowledge its existence. Also, New Yorkers call a whole pizza a "pie" so I thought Tony should too, sorry if that confused you!
> 
> You can find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/honestmischief) and [tumblr](https://honestmischief.tumblr.com) :)


End file.
